MARIA'S STORY OF WOMEN HELPING WOMEN

 

I want to thank the Housing Crisis Center for all the help they provided when I decided to change my life for my two chlldren and me.

 

I came from another country in December of 1996 full of dreams.  I married a nice guy I had dated for two years over the phone and through nice letters.

 

After one year of marriage, that nice person turned into drunk and controlling person.  I became pregnant in the first month of marriage; he started drinking, staying out with friends, and coming home drunk and in a bad mood all the time.  I always tried my best to have food prepared, clothes clean and folded, and the house clean for him, but it did not work. Things were getting worse and worse.

 

My son was born and I thought that would change him; it did for a little while but his friends and bars were in first place over us.  I was so unhappy and felt so lonely.  I did not have anybody from my own family here.  I did not know anybody here, either.  My husband did not let me talk to anybody.  He really had the power to control me.

 

I kept living in that situation for five years, praying for a change. 

 

One day, I went to get my hair done and had a conversation with a lady who worked at the salon.  I told her about my situation and she told me about shelters and gave me her phone number.

 

I started searching for a job.  I was lucky because I got a job soon, even when my husband was telling me nobody would hire me because they could not understand my English.  I had been working for two months and did not have any money because my husband took it all.  I wanted to save money because I was tired of living this way; it was not a healthy environment for my kids.

 

One night, my husband came home late at night very drunk.  He turned violent, throwing things around and leaving holes in the wall.  He pushed me against the wall and told me ugly things that would happen to me – horrible things.  I dialed 911 but hung up.  The police called back and my husband answered the phone saying that I was giving him a hard time.  Soon after, the police arrived.  I explained everything that happened.  He tried to blame everything on me.  The police eventually took him to jail.  That night, I knew I had to do something about my situation.  Things were getting too violent.  With a broken heart, I took my two children and left the house.  I went to a small motel and called my friend, the hairstylist.  She gave me information about shelters that I could call.

 

That evening, I met a wonderful lady who welcomed us.  Her name is Katheleen, a Program Director at the Housing Crisis Center.  I will never forget the way she talked to us and calmed me down with her peaceful voice.

 

I was so tired and my kids so hungry.  I did not know what was going to happen to us.  As I explained my situation, Katheleen told me not to worry.  The Housing Crisis Center helped me get a small apartment.  They helped me get food, clothes, and toys for my children.

 

I attended the “Women Helping Women” support group that helped me a lot.  I filed for divorce but my husband never did anything to bring us back.  He continued to blame me for leaving.  I knew I had to be strong and change the way we were living.  But it was difficult.

 

I was working overtime to save some money for things we needed.  Through Katheleen and sponsors of the Housing Crisis Center, I continue to get clothes and toys every Christmas.  Katheleen is an angel; she helped me change my life.

 

Since the Housing Crisis Center helped me find an apartment for my kids and me, I have found full time employment where I have been working for a couple of years.  I have since moved to another apartment that we all like and one I am able to pay for myself.  My children are happy and are doing well at school.  We are a happy family.

 

I want to thank the Housing Crisis Center for providing me with the support I needed to make a change in my life for me and for my children.

 

I encourage women who are living in a controlling and violent environment to speak up and not be afraid of searching for information to get help.

 

 

*Names are changed to protect confidentiality